Tag: featured

Just Listen

I am asking you to do one thing today to care for you, and those around you, just listen. 

You may be wondering why you should listen to advice from me. Let me introduce myself…I am, like many of you, a mother. I am also a seasoned teacher with a background in psychology and sociology. Of all the titles I have, my favorite comes from my kids. They call me the “Baby Whisperer” and this is a title I wear proudly. 

Why do they call me the Baby Whisperer? Let me share a story of a recent encounter with the most adorable little boy…

My family and I were enjoying a fun-filled day at an amusement park and it was nearing closing time. We were trying to fit in a few more rides before we all crashed, as we had been there since early that morning. We were getting in line for a ride when we saw a teenager yelling at her younger brother to stop crying, he couldn’t have been more than 3 years old. I felt bad for them because I imagined they were both exhausted. As we were standing in line, the little boy started running towards us with his sister chasing after him. I bent down and started talking to the boy saying he looked so sad. I asked him why he was so sad and he stopped in front of me and just continued crying. When I said the tiger face painting looked so cute on his face, he started wiping it off. I told him that he was taking away the most adorable tiger I have ever seen and he said, “I am just wiping away my cries!” I told him that it was okay and he finished wiping his tears, calmed down, and gave me a big hug.

I put my arms around him, rubbed his back, and said he must feel so tired because it is probably past his bedtime. He nodded his head, calmed down, gave me one last squeeze, and went back to his sister. I think both the boy and his sister were relieved that he stopped crying and my kids were completely amazed that I was able to calm him down so quickly. I told my kids that he just wanted someone to listen and understand him, just like I do with them when they are upset. 

The technique I used seems simple, but it was actually harder than it sounds. It’s called active listening and it has been the subject of studies over the years (see below). Basically you need to listen, and when you comment it needs to be done without judgement. Believe me, I have been practicing listening to other children for years before I had kids with no problems, but the first time I tried it with my own kids, it came out as me sounding disappointed in them. I had to really work at it, but it was worth it.

So when you are feeling frustrated with your toddler, tween, teenager, or even significant other, just remember that sometimes they need someone to listen and understand. Take a deep breath and understand that there are so many rules for them to follow, from you, school, and/or society. Sometimes when things get overwhelming for them, they just want someone to hear them. No lectures or trying to solve their problems…just listen.

And while we are at it…I want you to know that I hear you. I hear the frustration and tiredness in your voice. I hear you crying in the bathroom while you are trying to deal with tantrums or moods. I hear you getting up at night to tend to a cry or nightmare. I hear you and I understand. I am here, listening, wrapping my arms around you, and patting your back. I know it is past your bedtime and you cannot take one more thing while you wipe away your cries. I hear you, and I understand. Once you calm down and take a deep breath, it can be your turn to pay it forward and just listen.

“Active Listening.” Center for Disease Control and Prevention, U.S. Department of Health & Human Services, October 2, 2017,

https://www.cdc.gov/parents/essentials/communication/activelistening.html

Shenfield, Tali. “How to Communicate with your Teen Through Active Listening.” Advanced Psychology, Advanced Psychology Services, October 16, 2017. http://www.psy-ed.com/wpblog/communicate-with-teen/

Weger Jr., Harry, Castle Bell, Gina, Minei Elizabeth M., and Robinson, Melissa C. “The Relative Effectiveness of Active Listening in Initial Interactions.” International Journal of Listening, Volume 28, Issue 1, 2014, pp. 13-31, Published online: 08 Jan 2014.

by Crissy Blanos

a year in books

meeting my Goodreads goal of 35 books in a year was one of my most gratifying accomplishments of 2018

1. The Ministry of Utmost Happiness by Arundhati Roy

This book was recommended to me by my mom, and besides her suggestions usually being pretty solid, I was excited to start the year with a book written by an Indian woman. I loved it – it was equal parts personal, political, and historical, and an emotional and informative foray into the world of Delhi’s hijras. It can be emotionally draining/difficult to read at times, so I didn’t devour it the way I’ve devoured books in the past, but I’d definitely recommend this to anyone looking for a good read.

2. Killers of the Flower Moon: The Osage Murders and the Birth of the FBI by David Grann

This was one of the ‘hot’ books of the year, and for good reason. I love David Grann’s writing – he really brings out the “story” in “history” (cheesy, but true). More importantly, however, the book refocuses the lens of an important moment in history on the Osage community in a way that humanizes them and brings to light the brutality and hatred waged against them by the not only the white people in their community, but the US government as a whole. Killers of the Flower Moon focuses on a pretty particular part of our history, but that in an of itself serves as a telling indicator as to how and why indigenous peoples have been unjustly excluded from familiar narratives of American history.

3. A Criminal Defense by William L. Meyers Jr.

Sometimes you pick up a book for the sake of reading something and not wondering or worrying if it’s going to be good or not and this was one of those books – it was ok. Definitely not recommending it to anyone, but wouldn’t deter you from reading it either. Super quick read.

4. Animal Farm by George Orwell

A classic. I don’t know why we never read this in high school and I’ve been thinking about it for a while, but reading it now I feel like I got more out of it than I would’ve at the time. The whole dogma versus propaganda thing that comes out of the story is more relevant than ever.

5. Infinite Jest by David Foster Wallace

I can’t figure out why people like this book. I read way more than I should’ve honestly, and finally picked up the courage to abandon it (I literally never do that with books).

As much as I hated reading this book, there’s a Goodreads review of it that is perhaps the most iconic Goodreads review to ever exist, and the review itself is maybe a 20 minute read, but truly worth every minute. I cannot emphasize how good this review is, although I may be biased because it also validated a lot of what I felt while reading the actual book. Either way, it’s pretty fun to read. Here’s the link – https://bit.ly/2Qrfyeg

6. Exit West by Mohsin Hamid

After watching The Reluctant Fundamentalist (which has become one of my favorite movies of all time) I knew I had to read something by Mohsin Hamid ASAP and ended up ordering a copy of Exit West, mostly because it was most recently written and because I didn’t want to read The Reluctant Fundamentalist since I had just seen the movie (not the same, I know, this is just how my internal process of justification worked out).

Anyway, this is one of my favorite reads from this year. The story starts in Pakistan and slowly travels westward, following the main characters, Nadia and Saeed, as they’re driven out of their homes after war breaks out. At the center of everything is a relationship that reflects the experiences that Nadia and Saeed are forced into, but also goes through the same shit that relationships tend to have to go through even in the contexts we’re familiar with. So much of this story is relatable, and the way things progress and end is bittersweet and real. It’s not too long, and Hamid does a great job of packing just the right punch – never does it feel too contrived, but it never really feels like anything is lacking either – and this book is just so so good.

7. The Inner Courtyard by various Indian women

I liked this one! It’s a little more ‘rustic’ in a sense, and I can imagine that it might be more pleasurable for someone who knows and has grown up in Desi culture. I loved that the authors were chosen from a variety of different time periods and regions within India, and would totally have loved to have read more. Many of the stories were not originally written in English (we get to read translated works from languages like Urdu, Hindi, Bengali, Tamil, Kannada, Malayalam, etc.) and there’s a cultural intimacy there that you don’t get from a lot of modern Indian writers who write in English and therefore inevitably write with some degree of western influence. Highly recommend for anyone who is Desi or part of the diaspora, or for anyone who is interested in reading work by women that doesn’t feel colonized.

8. Creativity by Philippe Petit

White man obsessed with his own mind trying to impart wisdom. I regret picking this book up. Not worth discussing further.

9. The Early Stories of Truman Capote by Truman Capote

I am such a big fan of In Cold Blood, so when I saw this book in a bookstore I decided to pick it up. Honestly it’s quite a light read, but a very solid one too. A lot of the criticism I’ve seen about it is the fact that it feels super “freshman” (which, it was – Capote wrote these in his late teens/early twenties), but I actually love it because it paints a clearer picture of his evolution as a writer. Some of the stories can be a little cliche, but that never really struck me as a bad thing while I was reading it – overall, I enjoyed it.

10. Open City by Teju Cole

I LOVED this book. It’s not so much about a story playing out as it is about the protagonist reflecting on a things as his life happens – it’s like reading the personal journal of someone who’s really good at writing. I especially liked reading the conversations he has with the people he meets – particularly ones that make us think twice about how we assume certain systems of thinking and speaking, especially when it comes to conversations about society and politics, and a lot of times those assumptions ignore and/or forget to account for experiences that are not centered around the US.

A lot of Open City is poetic and slow and reflective, and it’s a great read for when you’re feeling quiet.

11. Educated by Tara Westover

PLEASE READ THIS BOOK. It’s wild to the point that I had to keep reminding myself that it was REAL. I devoured it in a day and I’m so sure you will too.

12. Moth Smoke by Mohsin Hamid

Moth Smoke was Mohsin Hamid’s first novel and reads a lot more like other works of South Asian fiction I’ve read in the past (compared to Exit West), but still stands out because of Hamid’s style of writing, which is always eloquent and beautiful but also still so relatable and never contrived or condescending. The main character is this guy who’s grown up with the elite of Pakistan but as an adult struggles more and more to identify/belong with the people he’s grown up with, which leads to a lot of self-destructive behaviors and decisions. It’s a quick read and can be equally appreciated by both Desis and non-Desis, I think.

If it wasn’t clear, I am 100% a Mohsin Hamid fan at this point.

13. Barracoon by Zora Neale Hurston

An absolute must-read. When I say must-read I mean you really must read it. It’s a first-person account from the last surviving person to have been brought over to America on a slave ship –not only is it a vital piece of history, it’s also shocking how much of this man’s story still resonates today. Especially to my fellow Americans – if there is a single book you read on this list, let it be this one.

14. A Clockwork Orange by Anthony Burgess

I actually did not like this book. I appreciate the story as a whole, but was gritting my teeth the whole way through. Aside from the violence being excessive, the Nadsat slang makes it almost unbearable to read.

15. The Wind Up Bird Chronicle by Haruki Murakami

My first Murakami and it was an EXPERIENCE in the absolute best way possible. Murakami’s writing style is an absolute delight and the story is simultaneously deeply reflective and whimsical (I guess a byproduct of the magical realism). The story itself was so beautiful and there was enough mystery and intrigue that I started, then kept reading till I was finished, then promptly order like four more Murakami books from Amazon.

16. The Curious Incident of the Dog In the Nighttime by Mark Haddon

A fast and fun read, told from the POV of a 15-year-old with autism. I guess I’d describe it as same vibes as ’Tuesdays with Morrie’ but not as sad, but also not really a happy story either. There’s a mystery at the center of the story, but it doesn’t take center stage, and I was okay with that because it was well-written and engaging. Apparently this was the author’s first time writing for an adult audience, and that makes sense to me when I look at the way the book was written. Overall not exceptional, but very enjoyable!

17. American Appetites by Joyce Carol Oates

I’ve been interested in reading something by JCO for a while and came across this book at a bookstore so I scooped it up. It was… ok. Actually, I think it was mostly well-written, but the characters – especially the protagonist – are ridiculously irritating and sometimes act outside the boundaries of reasonable human behavior, but like in the weirdest/most frustrating ways possible. Nevertheless I was interested enough to keep reading to the end… solidly confused re how I feel about this book.

18. Chanakya’s Chant by Ashwin Sanghi

Chanakya’s Chant is all around just a really good story. I’ve seen it described as a political thriller, which it very much is, but half of it, while still being a political thriller, is in the context of ancient Indian history, so it’s clearly a little more than that too. I’ve seen varying comments about whether or not it’s historically accurate, and I don’t know enough about Indian politics to see the parallels to recent politics, but all in all it’s entertaining.

19. The Outsider by Stephen King

Last year I started reading IT and ended up not sleeping two nights in a row and finishing the whole thing in three days, so I had high hopes for this one. It started off really well and I stayed up to finish it, but it just got more and more boring and ended in a way that was dull and anticlimactic.

20. Another Way of Telling by John Berger and Jean Mohr

So I’m not usually the type to read media theory for fun/without looking to get something out of it for creative purposes, but I saw this on sale at a local bookstore and recognized John Berger (shoutout to CAMS 101) and bought it impulsively. It’s honestly one of the best books I’ve ever read and I 100% intend to read it again, maybe in a few months. It’s incredible how principles discussed in the context of photography extend to a lot of the philosophical and sociopolitical questions that loom large today.

21. Girl Sleuth: Nancy Drew and the Women Who Created Her by Melanie Rehak

TBH I don’t even know why I read this book and don’t remember most of it, except that Wellesley is featured somewhat prominently, which is why I must have picked it up int he first place. Moving on….

22. The Bluest Eye by Toni Morrison

The last time I read this book was in high school but TBH the school I went to did such a bad job of teaching it that I wanted to re-read it to see if I would get something different out of it, especially since I also read Beloved for the first time a year prior and was blown away. I don’t know that I got something different out of it necessarily, but my reading of the book did feel more nuanced and richer because I was reading it for myself versus having my perception and reading of the book structured by a curriculum.

23. Square by Mac Barnett

My sister found this picture book at one of those fancy indie toy stores and picked it up as a birthday gift for a friends. She showed it to me before wrapping it up, and I was immediately taken with it – the illustrations are absolutely stunning and the story itself is both funny and philosophical. It’s the kind of children’s book that’s actually written for adults and it pulls off that whole shtick SO WELL.

24. Collected Short Fiction by V.S. Naipaul

Another book I picked up randomly in a bookstore on my quest to read more South Asian writers. It wasn’t until I brought it home and my mom said “oh, you’re reading VS Naipaul?” and I finally did some googling that I found out that he’s actually a really important writer in the Desi diaspora. Then a few weeks into reading the book, Obama announced he was also reading Naipaul so that was cool. Anyway, one of the reasons I love his Miguel Street stories (a series of stories that explore the lives of different people living in the same neighborhood in Trinidad) is their illustration of the inevitabilities of existing as brown/black people in a world that is colonized, without centering the colonizers. Naipaul tells the stories of brown people in the diaspora as it existed in places that are not India or America which was something I wasn’t familiar with.

The book was great and I really liked Naipaul’s writing, but it was hard to read in one sitting. In any case, I actually ended up being glad I split up reading the stories periodically because it was fun to come back to different stories with the same characters – it felt like revisiting an old neighborhood.

25. The Elephant Vanishes by Haruki Murakami

A great collection of short stories by Murakami. I wouldn’t consider this a Murakami primer, because there’s something about reading his novel that was missing from the collection as a whole, but if you like Murakami or you like short stories, I’d definitely recommend.

26. Pachinko by Min Jin Lee

I gobbled this book up, it is SO GOOD. It’s the intergenerational story of a family in Korea and the best description of it that I saw somewhere was that it is both fiction and a true story – though the characters themselves have been concocted, so much of the story was a reality for Koreans at the time. This was the most satisfying book I read this year, and is the kind of thing that everyone/anyone can enjoy reading, no matter what your tastes are. Fair warning though: this book reduced me to tears MULTIPLE times. Just writing about it makes me want to go back and read it again.

27. Half of a Yellow Sun by Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie

I…. shouldn’t have read this coming right off of Pachinko because it truly felt like a double whammy. The whole fiction-but-true-story thing can also be applied to this book, and even though I was emotionally exhausted reading this after Pachinko, it was actually also kind of cool reading them back-to-back because some of the themes are similar, and it was cool seeing that play out in two totally different cultural contexts/histories.

PS – If you read and liked this or Pachinko and want another similar read, I’d highly recommend checking out The Lowlands by Jhumpa Lahiri.

28. Triangle by Mac Barnett

Another book in the same series as Square and equally good.

29. While Mortals Sleep by Kurt Vonnegut

It’s always interesting when we go back and try to asses authors’ unpublished works. I’ve always held that Vonnegut was one of my favorite authors and I think that may have felt more positively about these stories as I otherwise might have? The stories are good, but not spectacular. But again, if you like Vonnegut or you just like short stories, I’d recommend it!

30. The Lost City of the Monkey God by Douglas Preston

If you’re like me and you spent your childhood daydreaming of going on adventures and reading about excavations of archaeological sites and all the legends that accompany them and mentally inserting yourself into Jurassic Park and playing games like Cluefinders (even though the educational part of it was way below your level) because you loved the adventure part of it  – you HAVE to read this book. You know how in adventure books/movies people have to pinch themselves to confirm that what they’re experiencing is real? That’s what reading this book is like.

Even if you are not the kind of crazed person I described above, you will enjoy this book. There is so much that the author covers – the adventure and archaeology of course, but also the science, the technology, the anthropology, the academic drama, the politics, the history, the ethics, even the epidemiology – and even my dad, who basically hates reading anything but books on economics, business, etc. , really liked it.

Such a huge shout-out to Douglas Preston for relaying the facts and his experiences in a way that is always exciting, well-researched, and refreshingly responsible.

31. The Remains of the Day by Kazuo Ishiguro

This book was also…. so good. It’s an innately powerful book that comments on our responsibility to ourselves and our future selves when it comes to making choices about how we live and how ignorant we are willing to be in the name of responsibility and ‘dignity’, and how ‘dignity’ means something essentially different based on our experiences, but also based on where we stand in life and what past, present, and future look like at that point. The whole thing is heartbreaking but also relatable and kind of cautionary and this is yet another book I cannot wait to read again. Also wow Ishiguro is such a skillful writer.

32. Circe by Madeline Miller

Loved this book – a super quick read and it gave me the same pleasure I used to get reading YA books (but this book is definitely not YA). If you like Greek mythology, you’ll definitely enjoy it.

33. Hey Ladies! by Michelle Markowitz and Caroline Moss

A year in the life of a gal group in NYC, as told through their emails and texts. It’s funny and light-hearted and easy to get through. I liked it a lot a the beginning and definitely felt called out at points and laughed at many others, but as it approached the end, the characters got a little too exaggerated which just made them annoying and got more boring to read it. I will not be recommending this book to anyone but I also wouldn’t deter anyone from reading it either.

34. Black Swans by Eve Babitz

In all honesty, I got this book because the cover looked cool. It was interesting because having done a little research on Eve Babitz before reading it, I found her as a person and her existence to be interesting. That said, I’m still trying to process how I feel about this book. I initially didn’t like it because a lot of it felt contrived and also ignorant and also super white (actually, super wealthy white which… you know). I don’t think my opinion on her writing itself has changed much, but I do find myself thinking of the stories often so I guess some part of it succeeded. It might also be because I work in entertainment and that whole world from a both a professional and non-professional perspective is so fascinating to me. Again, still trying to digest this one.

35. The Good Society by John Kenneth Galbraith

This was a small book but it took me months to finish. Not sure why because I really liked what I read when I read it, it was just that, for whatever reason, I could only manage to read two sentences at a time. JKG is good at taking concepts that are kind of common sense and reasoning them out and giving them more support and depth, which is what a lot of this book is. I’m not going to be touting it around everywhere, but if you’re interested in socioeconomics and making the world a better place, there’s a good chance you’d like this book.

by Lucky Bommireddy

“Cancer? Yes, obesity causes cancer!”

“Being overweight is not good for you, you can get diabetes or have heart disease”. This is something we all hear frequently and know for a fact. What we don’t hear and many of us don’t know is that being overweight and obese also causes cancer! Yes, that disease that we all fear CANCER. In fact, it can cause up to thirteen different types of cancer. This includes cancers with some of the worst outcomes like oesophageal and pancreatic and those linked to reproductive organs like womb and ovarian.  This is in addition to the risk from diabetes and heart disease that we are all familiar with. With obesity levels rising globally it is currently the second biggest cause of preventable cancers after tobacco use and we must do more to reduce rates. 

The way that obesity and extra weight can cause cancer can be considered complex but as the diagram shows very simply, the extra fat cells are active and lead to an excess production of hormones and growth factors.  These in turn stimulate key cells to divide increasing the risk of mutation and cancer cells being produced.  It is the mutation through cell division that leads to a cancer cell in the body that rapidly divides to form a tumor.

There are many factors that contribute to obesity but we know that the best way to reduce your weight to a healthy body mass index (Height cm/Weight kg; 18.5-24.9) is to eat healthily and reduce the amount of foods that are high in fats sugars and salt (HFSS).

Currently the evidence shows the link between obesity and cancer in adults BUT we do know that if a child is overweight and obese, they are 5 times more than likely to become an overweight adult with an increased cancer risk, in addition to the risk of diabetes and heart disease.  All have high associated health costs. Knowing this it is vital that we do more to support children to eat healthy.

There are many things around us that constantly tempt and encourage us all but especially children, to see, want and buy these HFSS foods – from marketing to price promotions.  Research from Cancer Research UK has shown that for every extra broadcast advert a child watches a week they are likely to consume an extra 350 calories/week!!

Obesity rates are rising globally and if we don’t do anything it will overtake smoking as the leading cause of cancer.  It has a large health risk associated with it financially, physically and mentally and we must do more to prevent it.  Raising our awareness of the health risk posed from obesity is a start and combined with doing more to reduce the increasingly “obesogenic” (obesity friendly) environment we are living in, we can start to hopefully turn this epidemic around.

References:

Brown KF, Rumgay H, Dunlop C, et al. Thefraction of cancer attributable to modifiable risk factors in England, Wales,Scotland, Northern Ireland, and the United Kingdom in 2015. British Journal ofCancer 2018; 118(8): 1130-41.

https://www.cancerresearchuk.org/about-cancer/causes-of-cancer/obesity-weight-and-cancer/does-obesity-cause-cancer#Obesity0

“Under Pressure: New evidence on youngpeople’s broadcast marketing exposure in the UK”. 2018. Christopher Thomas,Lucie Hooper, Gillian Rosenberg, Fiona Thomas, Jyotsna Vohra. https://www.cancerresearchuk.org/sites/default/files/under_pressure.pdf

by Jyotsna Vohra PhD

Children and Media- Young Children

From interactions with my patients and their families, I am increasingly concerned about the impact of digital media on our children who are growing up in environments saturated with technology. I had the mother of a two-year-old patient insist he was getting his “own” tablet as a present, and she became very upset when I cautioned her about the impact of unsupervised use of media. She insisted that she only used educational programs and that her child would be “left behind” if she did not buy him a device. The American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP), the American Psychological Association, (APA), Common Sense Media and many other experts and organizations have expressed concern about this issue as well. This is true in the United States and also in developing countries, like India. Child psychologist Dr. Malavika Kapur states: “Based on field and clinical experience, psychodynamic and behavioral theories and most of all from a developmental perspective,…indiscriminate viewing of visual media, especially with violent content, interferes with normal development.” The people who sell us this technology are themselves concerned and are limiting or banning their own children from using these devices. Concerned parents in Silicon Valley even have their nannies sign contracts so their children are not exposed to “screens.”

So what do we do? The following is a summary of the expert recommendations with my own comments and opinions as a pediatrician who has worked in general practice and in the academic world and as a parent. I use the word “media” to include all kinds including digital (computers, tablets, smartphones, educational computer toys), as well as TV and videos.

Young children are particularly vulnerable to exposure to media and devices as this is a crucial period of brain development. I had a parent proudly tell me that their child’s first word was “Alexa”, but I’d really prefer Mama or Dada to be that first word. Children two and younger need to explore with their hands and interact with trusted adults (parents, babysitters, daycare providers) to develop language, physical, social, emotional and other skills. Any use of media should be with parents who watch with them, reteach and reinforce its messages with them. They simply do not have the ability to learn from digital media as opposed to human interactions. An exception might be made for using video chat (Skype, Facetime, WhatsApp) to talk to family in other states and countries.  These programs are wonderful for grandparents and so long as parents are there to help interpret what’s going on, this is okay although it’s not a substitute for a real-life grandparent.

For children who are between the ages of 3-5 years, it’s tempting to use media to get a break from all that energy and maybe get some laundry done. When my children were little, they watched Sesame Street, Mr. Rogers, and Thomas the Tank Engine. They later moved on to dinosaurs and nature-related shows and documentaries. I think it’s important to recognize that while this is “down time” for both the kids and parents, try to be “present” during this time so you can chat about the content. Parents often try to pick educational programs, and some programs like Sesame Street are known to have some beneficial outcomes. I think it’s important to recognize that as parents, we are allowed to take breaks; however, many apps and shows that are supposed to be “educational” are really focused on rote academic skills. At these ages, parent-child interaction and unstructured social play are still critical to developing important thinking and social skills which toddlers lack, including impulse control, emotional regulation, creativity, and task persistence. Excessive TV watching at this age has been associated with cognitive, social, emotional and language delays. Additionally, excessive media use during preschool years is associated with increased risk for obesity possibly related to food-related ads, decreased physical activity and watching TV while eating/ snacking, which, as we all know, makes for “mindless overeating.” Excessive media use has been associated with decreased sleep even in infants, maybe from the screens’ “blue light” and the content watched.

Content is so important. I have had patients who were “expelled” from daycare for hitting and hurting other children. While some children are more “physical” than others, I often find that many of these children have been watching inappropriate or violent content. A patient of mine would sit on her parent’s lap while the parent played “Call of Duty”. She regularly hit children and was asked not to return to daycare. I think it’s preferable to watch media with your child but unquestionably something gentler.

There are times when parents use media to soothe a child, for example, during a plane flight or a doctor’s office visit. That’s not unreasonable and is sometimes necessary, but it is also important for children to learn how to regulate their emotions and soothe themselves. Boredom is not a bad thing and is known to stimulate creativity.

It’s not just the kids. Parent media use also decreases parent-child interactions. And parents who use devices heavily have kids who do.

The AAP recommends “…time limitations on digital media use for children 2 to 5 years to no more than 1 hour per day to allow children ample time to engage in other activities important to their health and development and to establish media viewing habits associated with lower risk of obesity later in life. In addition, encouraging parents to change to educational and prosocial content and engage with their children around technology will allow children to reap the most benefit from what they view.”

In summary (Adapted from AAP)

  • For children younger than 18 months, limit media use other than video-chatting.
  • Do not feel pressured to introduce technology early; children will figure them out quickly once they need to.
  • For parents of children 18 to 24 months of age who want to introduce digital media- choose high-quality programming/apps and use them together (co-view) with children, because this is how toddlers learn best. Letting children use media by themselves should be avoided. Use only quality products (eg, Common Sense Media, PBS Kids, Sesame Workshop).
  • In children older than 2 years, limit media to 1 hour or less per day of high-quality programming. Co-view to promote enhanced learning, greater interaction, and limit setting. Help children understand what they are seeing, and help them apply what they learn to the world around them.
  • Avoid fast-paced programs (young children do not understand them as well), apps with lots of distracting content, and any violent content.
  • Turn off televisions and other devices when not in use.
  • Monitor children’s media content and what apps are used or downloaded. Test apps before the child uses them, play together and ask the child what he or she thinks about the app.
  • Keep bedrooms, mealtimes, and parent-child playtimes screen free for children and parents. Parents can set a “do not disturb” option on their own phones during these times.
  • No screens 1 hour before bedtime, and remove devices from bedrooms before bed.
  • Try not to use media as a calming device unless absolutely necessary (we have all been there with a screaming child); work on setting limits, finding alternate activities, and other ways to calm children. See references below for ideas on how to implement these.

Resources and References

  1. AAP Statement- Media and Young Minds- Council on Communications and Media: Http://pediatrics.aappublications.org/content/138/5/e20162591
  2. For parent resources on finding appropriate content, ideas and how parents can limit their own media use: https://tinyurl.com/nrcwvdv
  3. Developing a Family Media Use Plan: https://tinyurl.com/hv3bh48
  4. https://www.commonsensemedia.org
  5. https://www.apa.org/topics/kids-media/
  6. A Dark Consensus About Screens and Kids Begins to Emerge in Silicon Valley https://tinyurl.com/y49jm6zj
  7. Let Children Get Bored Again by Pamela Paul: https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.nytimes.com/2019/02/02/opinion/sunday/children-bored.amp.html
  8. What’s the Hurry? Let Children be Children by Malavika Kapur: https://tinyurl.com/yy76bovh
  9. Silicon Valley Nannies Are Phone Police for Kids https://tinyurl.com/ybure8an
-Svapna Sabnis

Children and Media -Screens in Teens

At first, it was insidious. I would be at a restaurant with my family and I would see another family dining nearby. The children were using some kind of device, maybe a GameBoy to occupy them before their meal arrived. I noticed that the adults were able to have a real conversation. It was tempting to consider getting such devices for my kids as well as we dealt with children who interrupted our talk and demanded our attention- like normal children would. Growing up, I was a voracious reader, and I remember my mom making me put my books away and insisting I join the conversation at dinner. So I persisted with the rule for my children- no books or screens at the dining table.

I never had any absolute rules on computers and video games. Things were negotiable if a reasonable argument could be made. My older son made it easier on me by preferring being outdoors to video games. Luckily for me, he set a precedent and my younger son didn’t realize he could have asked us for a game system.

Now it seems like the devices at dinner time are ubiquitous, and it’s not just the children anymore. Everyone is checking their social media, texting their friends, catching up on the news and seemingly going out of their way to avoid human connection and conversation. I’ve seen kids connect by looking at each other’s social media accounts and comments they receive. That’s the entire conversation! They are often sitting in the same room texting each other instead of talking or playing, or maybe texting someone else because they don’t care to spend time with the person they are with. I find that incredibly rude, and yet  I catch myself fishing my phone out to check something non-urgent when I’m with friends. I avoided social media for a long time, but I recently succumbed to Instagram, mostly to keep up with my talented artist friends. I love seeing what they are up to and sharing my own amateur watercolors. I discovered that my niece who lives in another state is an incredible artist. Although I really signed up to see what others were creating, I suddenly find myself checking on whether people are commenting on my posts.

Don’t get me wrong, I love being able to look things up whenever I need to, read my newspapers, do my crosswords, play words with friends, check my email. I can even put in prescriptions for my patients on my phone.

My 16-year-old uses his phone to keep in contact with his friends, play games, browse some social media but also to do school-related activities. The lines are blurred between work and fun. I bought him a flip phone in sixth grade and a smartphone in eighth grade. With the smartphone came new rules (responsible use, parent access to his phone and any social media). Phones can be used to play games that are fun, entertaining, educational or destructive. I have preteen patients develop sleep problems because they won’t (or cannot) stop using the phone or playing video games. I’ve read that kids have shadow social media accounts that their parents follow, and real accounts that their parents don’t know about.  I’ve read that one can hide porn behind the seemingly innocent Calculator app. Kids have always known how to fool their parents. At some point, you have to throw your hands up and hope that you taught them well. But every child’s maturity level is different. Smartphones can be dangerous in the hands of an immature, impulsive child. It can be used to bully, threaten, intimidate, access porn, post inappropriate selfies or pictures of others, destroy a reputation, or ruin a young life. I had patients (really all girls) who shared nude pictures of themselves with boys which were then forwarded to the boyfriend’s friends. The girls were traumatized, grades plummeted, and they became anxious and depressed.

Smartphones are incredibly convenient and frighteningly addictive. And we put them in the hands of young people who have not yet learned to moderate their impulses. We wouldn’t give them unrestricted access to alcohol, drugs or cigarettes, would we?

Pandora’s box has been opened! We can use our phones for good and for evil. As adults let’s put our own oxygen masks on first, examine our own use of media, and then help our kids have better balance. Let’s get them back in the yard with their friends, balance the screen time with outdoor time. Maybe some star gazing, a hike, have real adventures.

For American Academy of Pediatrics guidelines on Children and Media https://tinyurl.com/y95q9w4c

And if you really want to learn about the importance of play in children’s lives I recommend Malavika Kapur’s book “What’s the Hurry? Let Children be Children”. Disclaimer- she is my mom. https://tinyurl.com/ycx97ke3

http://Other interesting articles https://www.nytimes.com/2018/10/26/style/phones-children-silicon-valley.html https://www.nytimes.com/2018/10/26/style/digital-divide-screens-schools.html https://www.nytimes.com/2018/09/20/business/media/google-youtube-children-data.html

https://www.theatlantic.com/magazine/archive/2018/11/raised-by-youtube/570838/

https://www.theatlantic.com/magazine/archive/2018/07/the-dangers-of-distracted-parenting/561752/

https://www.commonsensemedia.org/research/zero-to-eight-childrens-media-use-in-america-2013

by Svapna Sabnis

food rules

We all love to change the traditional ways of making food but what we don’t expect is that we are introducing new elements in the game of food. Food is chemistry and what we do to it has repercussions to the end product and to our health. However, it is fun to experiment and to explore creative foods and ideas. The problem is that traditional recipes come to us with rules and restrictions and we need to know when and why to make changes to them. Or not. Like cooking spinach with a fat and an acid to make sure the iron is absorbed in the body- something that I did on a regular basis. So this changed when I put spinach in a smoothie with a banana and yogurt. There was no fat or acid added. Spinach, a green micro-nutrient was a total loss to my system and to the process of setting up a new routine.

And consider dal or lentils.

A nutritionist I follow on instagram gave me some details on lentils. She posted about the lentil cheela with lots of vegetables and that got me thinking to how when my father suffered with kidney and liver problems and the doctor suggested eating less toor dal or any dal (lentil). He was a mid-life teetotaler, so alcohol was not the reason. The nutritionist said this about the dal intake- “…Ayurveda has already prescribed ways to prevent the ill effects of lentils. Think about our dal ka tadka with asfoetida, garlic, cumin and chillies or sambar that is made with tamarind and a tadka or the various fermented lentil preparations. The oxalates and purines in lentils are associated with oxalate type stones in kidney but if lentils are cooked according to Ayurveda prescribed ways and one consumes enough water, there is no need to worry.”

Thank you Sangeetha Khanna for this, and I would suggest you follow her blog and posts for more interesting information on food and nutrition guidance.

the inevitable dawning of common sense

The physical body over the mental- which comes first? Is it the chicken or the egg? Or is it easier than that? I practiced the mental well being for far too long and got hit by the lack of the physical care that was needed. Hence the effort to get to the core of it and understand how both are connected.

The inevitable dawning of common sense

For a number of years for me, the refining of the thought process to understand a social problem (as a sociologist) was to me a far critical issue to work towards. It has become my default setting for the longest time I could remember. The idea of “seeking help” was not an option to fix this lack of understanding- if it came about. I always knew that the most nonsensical of the problems has a solution, if only one reads more about it or finds ways to newer understandings and the truth as I seek it would unravel in front of me.

The mind-body connection, or the physical-body problem in the form of high BMI, is a new one that life has dealt in a fashion that now cannot be ignored. This is a warning sign of what’s more to come soon. On the other hand, the lack of a right mind-set that makes you look like a dim-wit in a certain circle, like your class mates in the Sociology class, was a warning sign. I clarified my ideas and concepts by reading more and more, to arrive at an understanding that not only made me “wise” but also got the grades I was looking for.

The physical body however, took a while to give me the warning sign and working to fix that is what this dashboard or a thesis is about. Contact our editor to contribute to the dashboard as a writer.

about cholesterol

Target Numbers for Asian Indians to Prevent Heart Disease
Non HDL Cholesterol less than 130 mg/dl [152]
(Total Cholesterol-HDL= Non HDL Cholesterol)

LDL-Cholesterol less than 100 mg/dl [126]

HDL-Cholesterol greater than 40 mg/dl for males and greater than 50 mg/dl for females [45]

Blood pressure: less than 140/80 mm
Waist Circumference: less than 35″ for men and less than 31″ for women

What is HDL cholesterol
High-density lipoprotein is a part of the total cholesterol measurement. It is often referred to as “good” cholesterol. The recommended level for men with diabetes is greater than 40mg/dl and for women with diabetes is greater than 50 mg/dl.

What is LDL cholesterol
Low-density lipoprotein is a part of the total cholesterol in the blood. It is often referred to as “bad” cholesterol. LDL should be less than 70mg/dl for those with diabetes and/or heart disease.

Dietary Recommendations to reduce LDL (bad) cholesterol level
The National Cholesterol Education Program Adult Treatment Panel III recommends:
1. Adjust caloric intake to achieve and maintain a healthy weight. Weight gain raises LDL (bad) cholesterol and triglyceride levels in the blood.
2. Choose a diet low in saturated fat (less than 7% of caloric intake), trans-fat (less than 1 % of caloric intake) and dietary cholesterol (less than 200 mg/day) by consuming a diet high in fish (especially fatty fish), non-fat dairy products, small amounts of lean meat and/or lean meat alternatives e.g. dry beans e.g. rajma, channa, soybeans (like edamame), lentils (daal) and tofu.
3. Include food sources of plant sterols & stanols. At the recommended dosage of 2 gm per day, plant sterols reduce cholesterol absorption in the intestine by up to 30% and reduce LDL “bad” cholesterol by 10%. Plant sterols have the same chemical structure as animal cholesterol which blocks the absorption of cholesterol eaten in the diet as well as
cholesterol manufactured by the liver.
4. Increase intake of viscous (soluble) fiber to 7-13g daily e.g. oats, fruits such as strawberries, apples, vegetables such as okra, eggplant, brussel sprouts and legumes such as lentils. Soluble fiber can lower LDL cholesterol 3-5%.  It is recommended that adults eat 21 to 38 grams of total fiber daily.

Source: Indian Foods: AAPI’s Guide to Nutrition, Health and Diabetes
Edited by RANJITA MISRA Professor & Research Director, Texas A&M University

remedies

HEART HEALTHY

What is heart healthy and why? Understand what it means to stay healthy! Be proactive about testing for diseases- know your challenges with genes and with your environment. Be equipped to deal with it. Coming soon- engage with your fitness calculators to enable better eating and working out. Know when to exercise more and do it. Find out about fitness classes around you and take on the extra work during the holidays. We all have the time to do it if you get it all together.